Why Love?
When I first started talking about my vision for this space, and the work I wanted to do in the world, I would internally roll my eyes at myself.
Can you believe it?
But I knew exactly what was going on.
Misogyny.
Patriarchy.
Capitalism.
In essence, a well-soaked-in internalization of these forces that dominate the world we live in today.
The world all around us. The way we’ve learned “things are.”
The other day, I met someone for the first time, and she had already heard of me and what I was doing here. “Oh!,” she said. “You’re writing a blog for women or something, right?” Well. No. Not exactly.
First of all, this isn’t a blog — though, again, I know that’s a concept that many of us have already grown used to from the world around us, so it’s an easy format to recall.
But this is much more than a blog.
In my vision, this will be a thriving community. Folks will come here to read my writing, yes, but they will also then comment on the posts to advance the conversation, with me and with other readers. They will participate in written chats on various topics, here on this site. They will join the Community Coaching gatherings we’ll be doing via Zoom every month. They will listen to the podcast that I will be launching soon, and they will share episodes with others who they think will benefit. This will be a place to come and find support, understanding, fellowship, inspiration — for your work, yes… and also for your whole life.
Also: this is not just for women.
In fact, one of our first paying subscribers (hi, Larry!) was a man. And here’s the thing. He is a man who was drawn by the essence of what we’re doing here — which, yes, is very intentionally soaked in feminine energy… but is mostly just vibes still. Especially since we’re just getting started, so there’s not a ton of evidence yet of how this will ultimately be. He just knew he was interested, so he signed right up. I love that.
So.
What am I talking about?
What is this feminine energy I speak of? And how is that different than being a woman? Why would feminine energy even be interesting to a man? What is it?
I got you.
From my perspective, a shorthand for feminine energy is, as it happens, that it is about the most counter-cultural energy there could be, in contrast to the prevailing energies of our dominant culture today.
Our dominant culture is something we all know. Intimately.
Hard-driving.
Demanding.
Inflexible.
Power-over.
Dominating.
Fighting.
Pushing.
Over-riding.
Individual over collective.
Bigger, faster, louder, more.
Stuffing feelings that are softer, more vulnerable — like fear, like sadness, like loneliness, like love and care for each other.
If emotions are allowed in the public sphere, we’ve apparently decided that they need to be the harder ones, if the person expressing them wants to retain any respectability — like anger, like disgust, like violence.
These are all masculine energies.
But let me be clear, here: I’m not talking about men. I’m talking about energies that individuals can carry, yes — and individuals of any and all genders do. But so can cultures. And entire societies.
Another clarification: the way that our dominant culture carries masculine energies is, in my experience, often/usually in a toxic form. All energies exist on a spectrum, and, if they go too much to an extreme, they’re usually very unhealthy.
There are healthy masculine energies.
We all need to learn how to bring healthy masculine energies into our lives, for sure. Initiating. Protecting. Sacrificing. Guiding. Courage. Strength. And I’m sure we will talk more about this in the future.
But today, we’re focusing on the feminine.
We have all internalized patriarchy and misogyny so much that we don’t even realize how much we marginalize even a hint of the feminine — within ourselves, within others, and within what we allow as acceptable in our public spheres.
Nurturing.
Caring.
Flexibility.
Softness.
Weeping.
Wisdom.
Power-with.
Collective over individual.
Slower.
Quieter.
Heart.
Love.
We all need to experience and embody much more of these energies. We need them. And the world around us needs them. All of our fellow humans need them.
I bet you feel that, when you read it.
We are hungry for it.
We are famished.
I see it. I know it. I’m sure you do, too.
And here’s the thing.
Do you notice how there are certain spheres where these energies are allowed? Where we talk openly about things like love?
Romantic relationships.
Family.
The home.
Sometimes — only sometimes — friendship.
Spiritual communities.
These are spaces where you’d see people openly talking about love. And this is what I’m questioning: why just there?
These spaces are essential — you could say foundational — elements of our human lives on this earth. And love is an essential energy we expect and cultivate in them. So why have we collectively decided to marginalize love and leave it primarily there?
Why don’t we talk about love in our public sphere, in the places where we co-create our shared life together?
Even and especially in this field of work known as “philanthropy” — which, quite literally, means love of humanity?
Think about it.
And maybe start embodying and being and speaking love much more in your public life, especially if you work in the field of philanthropy.
We’ll continue to go deeper here, in the weeks to come.
But for now, just think love.
And feel it.
And speak it.
And be it.